Too Anxious to Rest

Anyone else have #anxiety attacks from being lazy?

I work best when I’m going going going but when it’s time for me to take a break I’m always anxious that I need to be working on something.

I need those lazy days for sure. It’s a proven fact that humans are not robots and cannot be on all the time…

Combatting those imbalanced feelings is a regular job for me. I understand that my anxiety is an exaggeration of what I really should feel about any situation, but it’s not as simple as “don’t worry about it”.

Here is the thing:

I’m home because of coronavirus, half time. Yes. There has been a pandemic, if you are reading this 20 years from now. lol.

I’m getting my full salary (thank god) because I am a teacher and there is no shortage of work for me right now. I’m doing that and writing books (2 MS completed in September), and marketing books that are already out and building a publishing company (interviewing authors, planning for anthologies, working on partnerships), helping my kiddo with remote classes, and cooking and cleaning (SO MUCH), yelling at my family about how messy they are… etc. etc.

So with all that… when I have a day that I just want to play Animal Crossing all day long, I actually feel guilty about that.

I think it’s because I want to maintain balance in my life and binge playing a video game all day is not my idea of balance.

On the flip side, I never feel bad when I work hard all day…

And here lies the problem. It’s just as bad for a human to over work as it is for them to over rest. Both cause massive problems for the human.

And here we go again: It’s all about balance. Will I ever feel like I’ve achieved it?

Stay tuned to find out. lol.

-Tiffany

4 Comments

  1. theshopahistoryofthejosephkavanaghco

    I get the same thing, Tiffany. I struggle with serious anxiety attacks at times. Those are a wild ride but more commonly I feel as you do. I am trying to chill a bit but my mind is racing with something I should be doing. If I pick my guitar up, I think I should be writing. If I convince myself it’s okay to play then I MUST work on a specific song as if just fiddling about isn’t just as valuable. It’s relentless. I hope we both find that balance. I know it’s out there. :)

    1. Tiffany

      Thank you for sharing, Joe! It is a constant battle to feel comfortable with relaxation. Sometimes for me, I feel like what I’ve done is not (good) enough for me to be able to rest. Everyone tells me this isn’t true but that’s the thing about anxiety. It doesn’t matter what other people say or think, we can still derail.

      Thanks again for sharing!

  2. Elliot Stevens

    Ya know, I think that you share what a lot of us are going through. Life itself is a tough balancing act, let alone with the added chaos of #Covid_19. But that’s what makes it interesting. Take it from a suicide AND hurricane survivor–someone who has been on the edge of insanity with anxiety. If it gives you any peace of mind, you are not alone in going through this. BTW, two manuscripts in one month?!? I’d love to find whatever brain fuel you’re using LOL.:D

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